Wednesday, July 24, 2019

On the Creative Process

 I'm guilty of having a lot of creative ideas. Sometimes the best ideas are the ones that terrify me the most. Lately, I've begun to examine this pattern.

It goes something like this:
One moment I'm sitting on the couch like a lump feeling purposeless, unmotivated and utterly worthless. The next moment an idea hits like a bolt of lightening. I feel a quickening in my gut. My mind begins to explode with thoughts. I see the potential. I connect the dots. Boom! I have a fully visualized concept!

 It's at this point that the surge of creative energy shifts and the anxiety sets in. I'm consumed with fear and doubt. What was I thinking?
I border on panic.
 It's at this juncture that I face a choice:
Curl up into a ball and pull the covers up over my head or take the first step toward making the vision a reality.

What am I afraid of? I reject the notion that I'm afraid of success. But maybe I am.
Or maybe I fear being consumed. Once I begin a project,  it's a deep dive. I cannot stop until I have mined the depths, explored every option and imagined the big picture.  Time ceases to have meaning. Hours go by without pause. Even when I get up from my computer to eat, my brain is still active. I absentmindedly fix myself a sandwich while the details swirl around in my head.  My desk or office begins to look like a bomb has gone off -  drawers open, files, papers, books, pictures, journals, notebooks are strewn around the floor. Piles with colored post-its identify next steps and to do lists.

If I allow myself to jump in, I know that I may not come back up for air for a very long time. That is the fear. It's all or nothin'.

They say "leap and the net will appear." Almost everything I've done has been aligned with this belief. There is a difference, however, between risk-taking and recklessness. When a creative risk is worth taking, I feel it in the core of my being. There is a palpable tension between the excitement and the fear.

The next step for me is to look for the right people with whom to share the vision. It's very important to be careful in this stage because the wrong person can kill the creative energy. I've learned to stay away from wet blankets!
The right collaborator is equally passionate about the project, understands the creative process and has skills and talents that I lack.
I have very high standards. But I do not allow my perfectionistic tendencies to paralyze me.  I also make mistakes because I move quickly.  I need someone who has my back and the courage to steer me in the right direction when I get off course.

I believe that every obstacle can be overcome. But it's not a straight road. Detours are inevitable. U-turns and changes in direction are part of the journey.  I do not lack patience with the meandering path. I embrace it.

I do lack patience when barriers are erected out of fear.  I believe that it's important to seize the day. When the opportunity knocks, open the door. The intensity of the creative fire begins to wane over time.  After the initial surge of inspiration, the nitty gritty work begins to realize the dream or vision.  I love both of these stages and thrive on the implementation of a project.
It's important to keep going even when you feel lost or out of control.  I always follow Rilke's words, "Live the questions."

I've come to understand my process and my behavior in each stage of a creative project. To quote Rilke again, "Everything is gestation and birthing."  The labor of giving birth to a creative vision takes time.  Determination, perseverance, tenacity, trust, and belief are all critical to success.

Remember:
"A vision without a task is but a dream, a task without a vision is drudgery, a vision and a task is the hope of the world." From a church in Sussex, England, circa 1730






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